Thursday, June 17, 2010

For those of you who know...

Dear All,

For those of you who know, enjoy. For those of you that don't, I apologize for the vulgarity about to ensue. And to the offended, I say, "Relax, have a drink, take a poo."

I hate the pub so much. There are at least like, a gazillion things in the world better than the pub. They consist of the following:

Being burried alive is better than the pub.

AIDS is better than the pub.

Racism is better than the pub.

Murdering people in the name of god is better than the pub.

Female genital mutilation is better than the pub.

The Holocaust was better than the pub.

Seventh month abortion is better than the pub.

The terrorist attacks on the United States of America on September 11, 2001 were better than the pub.

Saddam Hussein's Iraq was better than the pub.

Rape camps are better than the pub.

The execution of mentally challenged people is better than the pub.

The arranged marriages of 9 year old Afghan girls to 60 year old mullahs are better than the pub.

Bus crashes in India are better than the pub.

Secret assassinations of world leaders are better than the pub.

The capture of Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit is better than the pub.

Being anally gang-raped by three black men is better than the pub.

Torture in North Korean prisons is better than the pub.

The US soccer team is better than the pub.

Developing testicular cancer when you are a woman is better than the pub.

Suicide bombings are better than the pub.

Hate crimes against minorities are better than the pub. However, hate crimes against homosexuals are not. Faggots.

Mistaking razor blades for tampons is better than the pub.

The BP Gulf oil spill is better than the pub.

Russian whores are not better than the pub.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

An (Informal) List of (Suggestions and) Ideas

I should...

Write more
Create more
Read more
Dance more
Work more
Love more
Eat more
Photograph more
Listen more
Reflect more
Care more
Respect more
Dare more
Appreciate more
Complain less.