Saturday, October 27, 2007

Paris Extravaganza

Alright, I am convinced that Paris is my absolute favorite city in the world, no question about it. I love that Paris is big enough where there is always something new to see and discover, but not so big that it just becomes overwhelming. Furthermore, the trip was met with some really unfortunate weather but it didn't matter to me. In each of my experiences with Paris I've learned that through bad weather, large crowds, language barrier, unpreferable personalities, tired feet, icky food, and smashed toes, Paris is still the greatest city in the world to me.

This time around I travelled with Emily and Kristan, two new friends from the program at Laban. We left early Wednesday morning and arrived in Paris by midday. After some long queues and some Metro hopping, we made it in one piece to our hotel in the Tour Maubourg area. We settled in and left to explore Paris. Well it was pretty cold to be honest and we were quite hungry so we found a cute little eatery tucked away behind some cafes near the Seine. It was a pretty mellow place and I enjoyed my dinner. Or late lunch seeing as the Parisians don't have dinner until late. After eating, we did a lot of walking around and sightseeing. It was so beautifully familiar to me and I felt quite happy to be there amongst the buildings and bridges that I love.

In the late evening we found ourselves at the Louvre. It was closed but we spent our time hanging around the Grand Pyramide. It was so uncrowded, what a rarity! Actually throughout most of our trip it was pretty uncrowded.

On Thursday we woke up early and headed to the Rue Mouffetard market. I had never been to that area before but I'm glad I did this time. I absolutely loved it there! It had a lively food market and tons of nice cafes and restaurants and small boutiques. I picked up some cool things and pretty much enjoyed just walking around having the fattest crepe ever! After that, we headed to the Place Maubert market in the Latin Quarter. It was a food, craft, and clothes market that was pretty nice and right in the middle of the busy Latin Quarter. We had some pastries in the nearby Paul patteserie. I also picked up some old childrens' books at Boulinier that cost only 50cents each. Happy stuff.

Next we headed to Ile St. Louis. I had been there only once before and vowed to return so return I did. I just loved it there and its so old. Actually I think its Paris' first neighborhood, or at least one of the first. We stopped into Berthillon where, despite the cold weather, had our ice cream fix. Good stuff.

For dinner I had the awesome raclette experience. Okay so I had no idea what a raclette was but it's basically a reverse fondue. Melt some cheese on a rack thingie, tilt it and let it pour over some potatoes and ham. It was awesome!!!! I shared with Emily but alas, we could not finish it all. But it was good food I'll tell you that.

In the evening we went to the Maison des Arts in Creteil to see the Emanuel Gat Company perform a repertory program. I went in expecting awesomeness seeing as its an Israeli company, and Israeli companies/choreographers had a 100% success rate with me thus far. Well after seeing Emanul Gat, they still do. The first piece was a male duet that was originally a male/female duet, which would have been interesting to see but I think making it a male duet gave it different qualities that I overall enjoyed. The dancers were neither too masculine nor too feminine. One dancer, Roy, was really good and Emily told me that he started dancing when he was like 20 or something. Amazing. He was an amazing mover.

The second piece was a solo by Emanuel danced to a jazzy version of "My Favorite Things". He did it pretty casually, wearing rehearsal clothes and taking small breaks in between movement phrases. I was blown away by his movement quality. He really uses his arms a lot and so fluidly. His musicality was spot on and I really enjoyed watching him. There's something really neat and distinct about his movement.

The third piece used more company members and it was exciting. It made me smile a lot. It was kind of all over the place with the dancers running around, breaking into smaller groups, doing solos, etc. The music was pretty eclectic and the movement amazing! There were a lot of motifs that I particularly liked and thought looked pretty cool. Dance doesn't always have to be pretty but it can still look cool and quirky without being ugly, which this company exemplified.

On Friday we stuck around the vicinity of the hotel which was actually quite nice. We had breakfast on rue Champs du Mars and discovered yet another outdoor food market. I picked up some more old books and enjoyed seeing this side of Tour Maubourg. We had only 2 hours left so we decided to hit the tourist track and head to the Eiffel Tower. Ironically we did last what most people on a Parisian trip do first. The whole park preceeding the tower was mellow which I appreciated. The surrounding streets, namely rue Emile Deschanel, are on my list on future residences haha. Aaah, that would be great. Anyways we made our way to the tower in all its massiveness and foggy glory. Hey I still take tons of pictures of it so whatever. Then we went up to the Trocadero for more views and pictures. I had a pretty good time up there sitting with my friend just talking and taking tons of silly pictures with the tower in the backdrop. I'd say it was a good last moment in this amazing city.

***

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Mission: Desklamp Status: Accomplished!

Okay reading week, here goes:

Friday I sat and observed classes. One of the classes I observed was a BA2 class with a lovely teacher named Susan Sentler. She had such a dynamic dialogue with her students and was more than gracious to us observers. At the end of the class, they all began to sing. Really now.

On Friday night I watched the school's BA3 performance featuring the work of guest choreographers. One of my friends was performing and I'd never seen her dance before, but she was such a character! I never knew she had that in her and I was pleasantly surprised to see her put on such a performance. The next piece was dull. I can't remember anything about it. Other than it was dull. The third piece was pretty cool. Kind of earthy. It had good dancers. The final piece was the most technically demanding and played with the concept of shapes and geometry. I'll say I liked it.

***

Saturday was the coolest day EVER. Well, not ever, but a really awesome day nonetheless. I started in the morning by attending an open audition for the Jasmin Vardimon Company out in south London. There were soooooo many people there that they had to conduct the audition in groups of 40. Luckilly, I was number 19. I went in pretty much for the experience of auditioning for a professional company and I think I got a lot out of it. Granted, I wasn't there too long, but I had a positive experience and enjoyed being there. But man, to quote my friend Joanne, there were tons of wankers there. I don't get why when it's not their turn to dance, people still insist on standing in the dance space, completely obstructing the dancers who are actually having their turn. This happens everywhere, yes, but still! Lame on them!

Then I went to Laban for another rehearsal with the MA student working on some pieces. It was mellow as usual and we had some interesting tasks. I enjoy all the improv practice I can get. And there's space to move!

In the early evening Emily and I headed over to the King's Cross area in search of a Japanese restaurant. Well we ended up walking in a large asterisk pattern all around the station and wound up in Casa Mamma, an Italian place. Not quite as planned, but good stuff....

After that, we walked up Pentonville Road to get to Sadler's Wells theatre and on the way we found a furniture store called "dwell" still open (!) and went in for our lamp search. And they had cool lamps! And cheap, too! The goal was a cool lamp under 50 pounds. Price of our lamps? 15 pounds each. Mofo yeah! Thank you, dwell! The funny thing is, we're so excited about new lamps. I feel lame but whatever I really needed a lamp! So blah!

***

Evening. Watched 'zero degrees' at Sader's Wells. It was my second time seeing this piece, the first time being in Sydney in January. I loved it so much more the second time around. It's just such an amazing piece and the fact that Akram and Larbi don't just dance makes it even better. They converse, they play, they interact, they joke, they mimic, they fall, they fight, they yell, they sing. It's beautiful. And my friend really enjoyed it which was good because she's such a tough critic. Even she was moved by the piece, so that's got to be a good sign. After the show, did some catching up and got a lot of useful advice. That would be the high point of the day.

Later we found a Japanese restaurant (still open!) near Angel station and I finally had my first Japanese meal since moving to London. It was good, too, so that just added to the already cool day.

Then on the way home we came across some volunteers from a local church who were passing out free coffee and tea, so we helped ourselves to some. We were like, 'it just gets better and better' and then I feared we'd jinx it and then some drunken person would come barf on our shoes. That never happened, thankfully.

***

Sunday morning, had shakshuka. Went to central London with Emily and Sophie. Actually made it past the ground floor of Harrod's. Ooohed and aahed at the amazing displays of food there! Had Wagamama's. Walked all over the place. Made it to Hyde Park. Split up. Took tons of pictures. Planned to go to Buckingham Palace but got distratced by the Serpentine at Hyde Park. Reunited. Had hot chocolate. Took more pictures. Yeah. Then watched "Save the Last Dance 2". Terrible fucking movie.

***

Monday, went to Legoland Windsor, which fucking rocked. Miniland alone was worth the admission price. 'Nuff said. Oh and I scored a free annual pass.

Then hung out around Windsor and Eton, bought some awesome old books, and I do mean awesome, and a fishing hat. Hmmm....saw Eton College. Eton looked like a ghost town more than anything. It was so deserted....but I liked that.

***

Today, shopping on Oxford Street with the rest of the cattle. But I bought tons of cool shit. So hell yeah. Tomorrow, Paris. Okay bye.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

**"""**

Well what can I say? I'm keeping track of most of it here. But not all of it, no, just a bit.

I interrupted one too many thought processes today. For this, I apologize.

Tonight I went to the Barbican and saw Shen Wei Dance Art's "Connect Transfer". To me, it looked mostly like an improv/contact improv class, only with really amazing dancers. They truly were. They were some of the most fluid, weightless, bendy creatures I've seen and they just seemed to float across the stage in such an effortless way. I really liked when they painted the floor, a large canvas, with their hands and feet while doing some insane floorwork. Floorwork. They absolutely ruled at that. And just about everything else as well. The music was beautiful, the set design simple, and the costumes non-distracting. The dancers were truly amazing, I cannot stress this enough. Like unhuman. The best dancers usually are.

Otherwise it's been a slow week. What makes a week slow anyway? What makes a week go by quickly? I don't necessarilly connect good times and bad with that stuff. Time flies when you're having fun? Not always. Sometimes we're lucky and time will fly when we really want it to. And sometimes good times can last long. I think I'm somewhere in the middle, not quite sure where, but somewhere. An uppety-downety week, but slow moving either way.

Research. Lots and lots of research. Really, it's the only thing I can do at this point. What else is under my control? That's something....

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Graaaph Paper

It's amazing to go to school with classmates and teachers from all over the world. I hear so many languages and accents every day that I'm starting to pick a lot of them up. As a newly-arrived American in England, I only knew of a few different types of British accents. Over time I started to notice the numerous regional British accents of my classmates. And it's mutual. A lot of the non-Americans in the program have been telling me and other Americans/Canadians that they are starting to be able to tell the difference between our accents. One of the girls in my program is from Calgary, Canada and I didn't even know she was Canadian right away. We were talking with a girl from Switzerland who said that we sound the same to her. Immediately the Canadian said, "We do NOT sound the same at all! She's from LA!" It's true, I have this weird drawn-out LA accent that's not typical valley girl in any way, luckilly, but it does sound funny now that it's been brought to my attention.

Like today for instance, a guy from Austria presented a project and didn't know 'graph paper' in English. So I said "graph paper" aloud, only it sounded more like 'gray-yaph paper' and my teacher, who is British, mimicked me and laughed. She then said "graahf paper".

There are a number of other Americans in the program, but they are from all over. The closest to me geographically would be a girl from Northern California, but we sound nothing alike. There are a few students from the midwest and their accents are more distinctive but overall it's one big jumble of accents.

On a similar note, we presented our self-portraits in choreography class today. Every person had the opportunity to discuss their creative process and the substance of their piece. It amazes me how fast the non-English speakers learn and how they can so eloquently present themselves to others. I constantly wonder how I would feel if I had to make an oral presentation in another language to a random group of people. I'd be so scared.

***

I stayed at the school late tonight. After an impromptu audition for someone's project, I found an empty studio and decided to try and come up with some material for a solo based on my self-portrait. I wasn't expecting to come up with anything but I surpirisingly did. I'm working with the theme of travelling and seeing the world, and the feelings that come with it. Tonight I explored the open-mindedness and expectation of arriving in a new world followed by the sudden frustration and confusion that comes with it. Once I feel I can convey that coherently I want to move on to the realizations, lessons, epiphanies, and eye-openers that inevitably follow. From there I'd probably explore the.....happiness I suppose, of the gaining of new knowledge and new experiences.

Fortunately I worked with two amazing partners in class today devising movement based on their interpretation of my self-potrait. They were very inquisitive about my want and need to travel and how it could be translated into movement.

One girl asked if I found a commonality in all the places I've been. The first thing I thought of was immigration. Being from the United States, I'm used to the diversity around me. My older family members are immigrants as well. But everywhere I travel, there are immigrants, too. In Australia, France, Italy, Austria, Israel, and England. Excluding Australia and England, I always wondered how tough it is for foreigners in these countries to learn English. They know their home languages, then learn the language of their new homeland. English is just another language to add to all that and it must be a bit frustrating. I wonder why they moved to where they moved and if they like being there, or would they go back home if they had the chance. I wonder how they adapt to the new language and culture while preserving their own culture for themselves and their children. I know so little of my Chinese and Mexican heritage, speak no other languages fluently, and currently live in another English-speaking country. But how would I adjust to living in say, Brazil? Thailand? Kuwait? Nigeria? Of course it's easy to assume "everyone" will speak English anyway, but what if they don't? And even if they do, why shouldn't I speak their language? I'm in their country afterall. I'd probably struggle and constantly worry that I sound stupid no matter what I say. How much of my "American-ness" would I retain? Lose? How much of the new culture would I gain? Miss out on?

***

After leaving the studio late at night, I walked out to an empty, beautifully lit, curved pathway between the giant grass pyramids. I turned around and looked at the building, my school. With it's multi-colored windows--some opaque, some transparent--situated between the grass pyramids and preceeded by a beaitifully lit pathway, I thought to myself, "I go to a pretty fucking amazing school." Yes, the architecture and landscape of the place initiated the feeling, but the overall appreciation for the training and people involved came rushing to me and I suddenly felt more grateful than I ever had before.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Yellow Europa as the shirt says...

I had a rather restful weekend, I'd say. And deservedly so.

On Friday night I went to Sadler's Wells to see Birmingham Royal Ballet's "Edward II". What drew me to this performance was purely my curiosity to see how they would portray Edward's rather gruesome death. Historically, Edward II was not a particularly great king. Not good, even. He is known for being fickle, childlike, and oblivious to his responsibilities, placing a higher priority on his personal pleasure than on the wellbeing of his kingdom. It also doesn't help that he was the son and father of great kings. Yet BRB artistic director David Bintley chose to create a ballet about this king and I was instantly drawn to the notion. The ballet itself was pretty cool. It was a classical ballet through and through, but the costumes and sets were completely contemporary and unconventional in every way. The choreography was dynamic and powerful. The dancers were amazing actors so much so that I was more amazed with their character portrayal than their dancing--which almost never happens. The only time I can reacall feeling that way was in watching Marcelo Gomes of ABT as Othello. This ballet succeeded in putting a real face and personality on Edward II who otherwise remained just a figure from a text book with a gross ending.

Speaking of his grisly end, the ballet portrayed it very interestingly and with the right tone. What I want to know now is, how dificult was it to come up with that, or was it super easy?

***

On Saturday I went to this informal rehearsal for an MA student choreographing random projects as part of her course. It was a mellow ordeal with me and three other girls, one of whom is in my program (sort of). It was nice to actually just move around in the space and not worry about bumping into anyone or worry about technical stuff. We pretty much did improv for an hour and a half then learned a short sequence. It was cool.

Saturday night I went to the Barbican to see Sidi Goma and Omar Faruk as part of the center's Ramadan Nights festival. It was long....

***

Sunday was a restful day and I worked on my self-portrait for my choreography class. Following a visit to the National Portrait Gallery, our assignment was to create a self portrait in any way--not through dance though. I figured with a group of dancers who don't really draw, the self portraits are going to be pretty abstract and I'm quite excited to see what everyone came up with :)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

525,600

Tonight is not one of those nights where I'll be sleeping much, though I know I should. But I can't. I'm completely out of order and I need some repairing. My brain needs repairing. Maybe resuscitation. I feel a storm coming...

Monday, October 8, 2007

Shaken and Stirred

Tonight I went to the Southbank Centre to see Inbal Pinto and Avshallom Pollak Dance Company's "Shaker". I went in with high expectations having heard a lot of positive things about the company and its dancers and I was not disappointed. The piece comprised of 8 dancers and 2 actors. It was a very theatrical piece with a really cool set. There were tiny styrofoam (sic?) balls all over the stage creating a snowy atmosphere. Upstage were three small cabins where dancers would appear and disappear throughout. The imagery and set design, combined with eclectic music and frenetic dancing created an encased, snowglobe-like world--hence the title. I loved every moment of it. The dancers were amazing with athletic and graceful movement qualities that they mixed well while portraying a range of characters and personalities. I really enjoyed the theatrical feel of the piece because it gave it a whole new dimension and tone. It ended on a slightly discomforting note, which I loved. Finally, a really awesome dance show that delivered.

After the show there was a Q&A with Inbal and Avshallom. There were some good questions regarding the musical selection and set design, a funny question from a BA student wanting advice for her choreographic project, and words of appreciation from an Israeli woman living in London who had never seen Inbal's work before tonight. But of course came the "Israeli" and "Jewish" questions, which I knew were inevitable. As I'm sure Inbal and Avshallom did as well. First, a woman commented that the set deisgn and costume of one performer reminded her of Auschwitz, and asked if that was intentional. The answer: No. Avshallom said it's not what they thought of when creating, realized it later but decided not to change it due to different interpretations, and said if people saw it that way then so be it. My opinion is that it could have been intentional but they chose not to elaborate on it, for it would turn the piece into something far more profound than it needed to be...but honestly, if the weren't an Israeli company, would anyone have made that connection in the first place? Later, another man mentioned that he's "half-Jewish" and couldn't make a "Jewish" or "Israeli" connection in the piece then asked if they consider these things when creating. The answer: No. Why should they? Yes, they're Israeli. Yes, they're Jewish. But why must these things become the central theme of their work? Avshallom said they do what they do because they love it. Simple as that, regardless of their religion and nationality. If they wanted to make a comment about being Israeli or Jewish, fine, but it dosn't need to dominate their work in any way. Why must this man need to find a Jewish or Israeli connection in this work? Can he not enjoy the piece for what it is--pure dancing and theatre? Once again, if they weren't an Israeli company, would anyone want such a religious/patriotic commentary? It reminds me a bit of the questions Ohad Naharin would constantly get asked in interviews in the US and Australia and who knows where else. Political questions and the sort. Why does it matter? Not all American choreographers create with American politics and society in mind---sure, they can be inspired, but why would they choose an artistic vision that relies heavily on such things? It would get very old, very fast.

Fucking awesome show.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

1,729

Right now I'm watching a show about the plastic surgery phenomenon in Los Angeles. This is not news to me but its still interesting to hear these peoples reasons for wanting to go under the knife and remove/inject all sorts of crap. Right now there's a 50years+ man who got pec implants and now he looks like he has women's breasts. They also documented a woman in search of happiness and self-esteem who hired a $2,000/day image consultant. If that doesn't work (which I'm sure it won't), she's going to feel like a dork (which she probably won't either). The show just proves the constant self-absortion that exists in everyone and how people can only feel complete when they feel they look their absolute "best". I'm not against plastic surgery at all, but I hate when people resort to it to "change their lives". To be honest, I'd rather if people just did it out of total vanity, not to change themselves on the inside. But that's so cliche.

***

Yesterday I went to the Barbican Centre to see a show called "A Disappearning Number". I knew nothing about it, assumed it was a dance show, knew the tickets had been completely sold out for some time, and heard it was "brilliant". Turns out it wasn't a dance show at all, but a play about mathematicians and the significance of numbers. Right off the bat I panicked and instantly regretted buying a ticket without doing my research. I thought, 'is this whole show going to be about fucking equations?' but NO!!! It was really interesting!! I really enjoyed it and was even moved by the significance of numbers and what they mean to different people and of their relationships with and around life. Who would have thought? It was beautifully acted, lit, designed, and scored. "Brilliant"? Quite possibly, but you don't have to be brilliant to enjoy it....obviously.

***

I went to Covent Garden for the first time last night and I enjoyed it a lot. It was a bit crowded and I was grateful that it wasn't summertime. But the whole area around the markets is really nice and I liked the live musicians all over.

***

Today I discovered Spitalfield's Market and its vicinity. The main market area itself was under renovation so the stalls were relocated to a nearby shopping area. The whole place was really clean and nice and it was refreshing to find a market that was actually selling nice, pretty things, rather than crap. Okay, well there was a good share of crap, too. It was a fun day. Only complaint, I can't seem to find a damn desklamp! Well I can, but not ones that I like or want to pay for. Emily and I are both on the search for the perfect desk lamp and we don't want to resort to buying a plain, boring one from some chain store. No, we want a cool, crafty, funky lamp from an independent seller. Problem with independent sellers? They're really expensive!! I don't want to pay 50pounds for a lamp base and 40 pounds for a lamp shade. That's like $180!! Hell no....but I am determined to find a cool desklamp for under 50 pounds. In London, this may be a BIT challenging.

***

Two nights ago I went to the Southbank Centre to see a performance by Rosie Kay followed by a performance by Siobhan Davies Dance Company. Rosie Kay's duet was pretty awesome. It was a really physical piece with a lot of jumping and falling. The kind of stuff that makes my knees cry in horror. They danced like the stage couldn't contain them, and I loved that. It was exciting. The main event, "Two Quartets" by Siobhan Davies..........was laaaaaaaaaame. I completely zoned out and thought about what tube lines I needed to get home and what I was going to eat for dinner. Lame lame lame. The first quartet consisted of running in circles while wearing costumes that made the dancers look like playing cards to music that seemed to not exist! All I remember is a woman's voice saying, "Tchaikovsky" every few minutes. I was sooooo bored. The second quartet started out pretty promising, with a solo by this awesome dancer who woke me up. The next three solos? Not so much, back to sleep. So that closes the lid on that company for me.

***

Inbal Pinto tomorrow night. I'm hoping for goodness, if not fucking awesome-ness.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Inevitable

I got sick last night. It had to happen eventually, and now I feel miserable and mad. But it'll pass soon and I'll be fine, so why complain? I had no energy this morning and I couldn't make it to class. I did, however, make it to my choreological studies class so that I could at least sit and take notes. I was notified a number of times that I didn't "look so well". It was fun to sit and watch and I learned a lot.



A while later I headed to Sadler's Wells to see "Cast No Shadow". I didn't really want to go, but the tickets had already been paid for so that was that. I figured, it could be good to just sit for two hours and enjoy the movement........not so much.



Okay well the show was a collaboration between Russell Maliphant and filmmaker Isaan Julien. Usually I don't enjoy film or video installations in dance, it's never really rubbed me the right way. But tonight I was drawn to it, more than the dancing even. The show opened with a film that took place in Morocco. It was colorful, vibrant, loud, and energetic. There was a man dancing in it who was amazing. He was just moving in such an honest, intense way.



The next piece featured three dancers performing to a video background of Antarctica? Alaska? Some cold, snowy place. The images were breathtaking and I immediately wanted to be there in my own little world. I wasn't as drawn to the dancers, but more to the video. Who would have thought? The final piece of the evening didn't really capture me. I was making a market list in my head and thinking about what I wanted to eat for dinner. But once again, the video images were awesome, depicting delapidated boats and an abandoned seaside. The dancers made good use of some sticks, but not so much with rope.



After the show I ran into my new friend Alexis and we took the train home together. I didn't really know him so well before tonight, but I'm glad we got the chance to talk and get to know each other better. He's a really smart guy and we shared our opinions on London, LA, Cyprus (where he's from), dance, the program, and other random stuff. What would have been a long, boring tube ride home became an interesting, thought-provoking experience, and I'm glad for that. It took my mind off of my looming sickness.



***



Right now, "Where the Heart Is" is on tv. I remember seeing it in the theatre when it first came out, and loving it. I still do, to be honest.

***

I did a lot of thinking today. Strange, I know. But my friend Emily choreographed a short solo yesterday based on the theme of cynicism and religion. I think it was an interesting idea, whether I agree with it or not, and it obviously came from an honest opinion from someone who has a lot to say and express on the matter. So the basis of her idea got me thinking about the amount of violence and suffering that exists in a place deemed so holy and sacred. Why would God allow this? For such misfortune to fall upon people fighting in his name of all things? Or are they really? So many thoughts came and went, mostly regarding intentions and ideas. Good intentions, wrong intentions, genuine intentions, pure intentions, impure intentions. Who can judge which is which? What may be a good intention to one person can be a horrible, evil intention to another. These conflicts are manmade if anything, and why would God allow them to continue on? Because these people so will it, is why, I think. There are so many different agendas from so many different people, and they use religion as their platform to acheive these agendas using good and bad intentions. Although I have not seen or experienced first hand the loss and suffering that my friend has, I can understand where the cynicism comes from. Perhaps were I in the same situation, I'd feel the same way. There's no way of knowing for sure, but her feeling of cynicism is not unfounded or unjustifiable in any way. It's really dificult for me to write on such a subject as this, as I'm never really sure what to say.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

mangled

Is it even possible. Is it really possible to...I can't even make sense of my own thoughts. They seem to exist in my head, but they never make their way to....half sentences.....are about the only thing i can manage at this point.

I dont listen. I never listen. I hear. I hear. I dont comprehend, I dont know.

Suddenly the car made a turn and I just went along with it. What else could I do?

Comes and goes......

It's written all over my face.

I put the fun in funeral.